Dear Commuting Women in Skirts and Sneakers –
Up until today I have always hated you.
Hate is a strong word, yes, but I only reserve it for the utmost of dire situations, like fashion bashing moments and Celine Dion (dirty bitch). Yes, up until today I found you all fashion whores. Rudely, lighting bags of shit to be stomped out by models on Milan runways.
And then, well, genius socked me quite good. I thought a remedy for you, for all of us.
I understand why putting on running sneakers would appear a great idea during the rush of AM pre-coffee moments.
Here’s the rub, you look like a jackass.
Of course, I can appreciate the feeble attempt to preserve your ankles from city coble stone trouble. I get it, for sure, you and I are one. And yet, however in understanding we might be with your plight, I still want to kick you in the face with my adorable ballet slipper work shoes. Who am I kidding? I’m wearing wingtips right now, but you get the idea. Fools, all of you.
Whether it’s just having left the gym, speeding up your walk from train to office, saving valuable tote bag space, the lot; I really don’t care. Tim Gunn would lose his fashionista lunch if he ever saw you like that. Gross.
Ladies, let’s be ladies.
Moral of the story? Stop wearing those bat shit crazy high heels and get some comfortable shits.
Your fellow subway riders will thank you.
PS - Great legs though. Wink.